frantacech, that was a great post ... and, yes, I do recognize myself in those.

When times get tough, that might be a good time to take a few weeks off from trading. During that time-off, contact some "successful" traders and ask them if you can watch over their shoulders for a trading day or two. Visit a few traders so you can get a few different ideas. Offer to pay them what you would have lost in trading during that time. It will definitely be worth your time.